Beernuts Productions resident hippy-dippy nut-bag to the stars, Madam Zelda White-Chocolate, has this month’s horoscopes prepared especially for you.

Scoff at this highly experienced and thought provoking phony if you dare, as each month’s horoscope is delivered with scary accuracy and precise timings of hugely important events that will no doubt happen in your life. Health, finances and relationships are only the tip of the iceberg for this amazingly specific psychic astrologer.

These 12 hilariously outrageous horoscopes are recorded in the highest quality WAV format. They have been professionally voiced by Shelley O’Connor and written and produced by gough.

Also included in this download is a bonus track, free of charge. A hilarious comedy sketch, depicting the conversation between God and Noah as voiced by gough and Dave Evans, making this track over 15 glorious minutes in length.

This download is tremendous value at only $2.50 (human earth dollars) and is available to download right this very instant. So download “Horoscopes” today and learn what the future has in store tomorrow. However be warned, as some material may offend or be frighteningly accurate.

Click below to listen to a free sample.