Beernuts Productions

New Range of Comedy Characters

Beernuts Productions is proud to present its brand new range of comedy characters, just in time for summer. Including, Jasmine, the Indecisive Gypsy, Boris, the Arachnophobic Spider, Sally, the Lactose Intolerant Nurse, Bruce, the Evangelical Ambulance Officer and that's only the tip of this outrageously hilarious iceberg. Eleven characters in total will have you giggling all day long and most of the evening, wondering what kind of drugs gough was on when he wrote this sidesplitting nonsense.

This high quality WAV download runs for eighteen glorious minutes and is voiced by gough, Amber O'Reilly and Beau Jones, each putting in brilliant performances. The piece is written and produced by gough and professionally recorded and edited. And the best part is, for only $2.95 it could be yours to enjoy forever.

So make sure you download your copy and learn all about Reginald, the Horny Electrician and Harriet the Lesbian Hen today. You'll regret it if you don't, just ask Candice the Singing Accountant who just also happens to have a foot fetish.

This recording is not suitable for those who are easily offended.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


Beernuts Productions Presents

A Guide To Adolescence

Well kids, finally help has arrived and it comes in the shape of me. I pull no punches as I tell you the truth about those tricky and turbulent adolescent years. You’re welcome.

Learn everything you'll ever need to know in this one simple recording. Learn about why hair is now suddenly springing up in places on your body you never thought possible. Learn how to handle certain feelings and emotions that are now destroying your life. Get the inside word on how adults really think, act and why. And above all, learn about all the awesome stuff you can do once you turn 18, like voting, drinking and gambling. The world will be your oyster, ready for you to shuck and tear apart.

"Beernuts Productions presents A Guide to Adolescence" is written and performed by gough and runs for 16 politically incorrect minutes and 11 hilarious seconds. Professionally recorded and edited, this high quality WAV format audio download is only $2, can you believe that? Just $2. I must be insane providing all of these pearls of wisdom for only 2 freaking dollars. This wonderfully inappropriate and misguided recording will leave you in stitches. Both physically and metaphorically if you follow the half-baked advice. So make sure you download "Beernuts Productions Presents A Guide to Adolescence" today.

This recording is not suitable for those who are easily offended.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


Phone Sex

An Inside Look

Have you ever thought long and hard about the inner workings and history of the phone sex industry? Of course you haven't, that'd just be plain madness. So Beernuts Productions has hired a team of completely fictional researchers to do the thinking for you. So after minutes of tireless investigating we present their findings to you in this fascinating, jocular and incredibly entertaining audio download.

From its humble beginnings to becoming a thriving business and everything in between, learn all you’ve ever wanted to know and then some you probably didn’t about the phone sex industry.

Professionally recorded and edited, "Phone Sex - An Inside Look" is written and produced by gough for Beernuts Productions Pty Ltd. It is superbly voiced by Catarina Hebbard, Shelley O'Connor, Dave Evans and gough. This recording is produced in the highest quality WAV format and has a running time of eighteen minutes.

For only $2.95 this gut-bustlingly hilarious mockumentary download could be yours to enjoy for a life time. So don’t let this rare gift pass you by, download “Phone Sex – An Inside Look” today.

This recording is not suitable for those who are easily offended.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


Horoscopes

Beernuts Productions resident hippy-dippy nut-bag to the stars, Madam Zelda White-Chocolate, has this month's horoscopes prepared especially for you.

Scoff at this highly experienced and thought provoking phony if you dare, as each month's horoscope is delivered with scary accuracy and precise timings of hugely important events that will no doubt happen in your life. Health, finances and relationships are only the tip of the iceberg for this amazingly specific psychic astrologer.

These 12 hilariously outrageous horoscopes are recorded in the highest quality WAV format. They have been professionally voiced by Shelley O'Connor and written and produced by gough.

Also included in this download is a bonus track, free of charge. A hilarious comedy sketch, depicting the conversation between God and Noah as voiced by gough and Dave Evans, making this track over 15 glorious minutes in length.

This download is tremendous value at only $2.50 (human earth dollars) and is available to download right this very instant. So download "Horoscopes" today and learn what the future has in store tomorrow. However be warned, as some material may offend or be frighteningly accurate.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


War Time Letters

"War Time Letters" is a collection of seven hilarious, (and very fictional,) letters, sent from partners to their significant others who are serving on war fields around the world. There is one letter for every major conflict over the past one hundred years, starting with the First World War.

Ironic, satirical and at times just plain crude, this collection of outrageous letters will leave you rolling with laughter as you discover how the human race has evolved or maybe devolved over the last one hundred years.

This high quality mp3 download lasts for nearly twenty fantastically funny minutes and is written and produced by gough. Professionally voiced by Catarina Hebbard and gough and professionally recorded and edited at Able Studios “War Time Letters” is not to be missed.

So download "War Time Letters" today for only $2.50 and thank God you’re not serving in the armed forces and receiving one of these hysterically inappropriate letters.

This recording is not suitable for those who are easily offended.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


Beernuts Productions presents

A Guide to Healthy Living

Have you ever felt emotionally or physically exhausted? Have you ever wondered why you have no energy, motivation or friends? Have you ever wanted someone to write and record a 14 minute and 13 second monologue about healthy living? Well wait no longer, because here it is.

Beernuts Productions is proud to present "A Guide to Healthy Living." Written and performed by gough, this highly informative dribble covers everything from reliable methods of stress management, to detailed psychological advice, along with exercise, dieting and disease prevention tips. But that's only the tip of the healthy living iceberg. You'll wonder how you ever survived without Beernuts Productions guide to healthy living.

Professionally voiced and edited in a high quality WAV format, this recording runs for nearly 15 excruciatingly enjoyable minutes. And for only $2 its amazingly good value.

So download "Beernuts Productions guide to healthy living today" and be entertained tomorrow, possibly by something else.

This recording is not suitable for those who are easily offended.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


Beernuts Productions

Dating Hotline

Have you ever wondered what kind of losers call up phone dating hotlines? Well wonder no more. Beernuts Productions has set up its own dating hotline and with a flagrant disregard for people’s privacy, you can now listen to the messages they have left.

Discover more about people than you ever wanted to know and thank God you’re not single and have to deal with this group of nut-bags, as you laugh hysterically at these dating hotline phone messages. You thought Craig’s List got all the crazies, well they have nothing on the Beernuts Productions dating hotline.

Written and produced by gough, this hilarious collection of twelve ad’s, (six male – six female,) runs for nearly twenty minutes, (19:57) and is professionally voiced by Shelley O'Connor, gough and Dave Evans. This recording is professionally edited and is available now in mp3 format. So download this riotous collection of dating ad’s today for only $2.50 and giggle uncontrollably at this inappropriate nonsense.

This recording is not suitable for those under 18 years of age due to strong adult themes and highly questionable material, morals and standards, though the audio quality is second to none.

 

Click below to listen to a free sample.


To assist Beernuts Productions in making more high quality entertainment, please click on the donate button below. All money donated goes into making the next project, so please donate what you can and help this independent production company out. Thank you for your support and kind assistance.






Beernuts Productions
PO Box 88 Runaway Bay, QLD 4216 Australia
Phone: +6140 222 3198
Email: info@beernutsproductions.com

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